Facing An Autism Diagnosis

By: Michelle Gabrielle Centamore

“You’re child has autism.” For some parents, these words can be devastating, ripping them out of one world – “typical” – and dropping them into another – “atypical.” Because there is no established cause or cure for this disorder, the situation can be that much more frightening. No parent wants to hear that something is not right with their child. No parent wants to learn that maybe their child won’t speak or may have long-term difficulty interacting appropriately with his peers. No parent wants their child to be singled out as “different,” or for their family to be different. Facing an autism diagnosis is not easy. But there is certainly help and treatment and support. And with those things come hope and endless possibilities for success for your child and your family.

The following are suggestions on how to face an autism diagnosis:

Get over the label. Say it once; say it twice if you have to but then move on. If you get stuck on this one word – Autism – you may not be able to move forward and help your child to do the same. Yes, there is a lot of uncertainty behind that word but know that it may come or go in the coming years. What matters most is your child, his progress, his quality of life and your family’s, too. Focus on those things first.

Follow up with your county coordinator or school district to begin or maintain therapeutic services. Maintain an open line of communication. If you have questions, ask them. If you are phoned at home, call back. Become a manager for your child’s therapy. Work with professionals to understand your child’s needs and how they can best be met consistently, keeping in mind that your child’s needs may change over time.

Do your own research. There is a great deal of information out there about Autism – treatments, therapies, etc. Go to your local library or book store and start reading. And while the Internet is a good source, too, for learning about Autism, be weary of any organizations that promise a cure. Rather, arm yourself with reliable information that will help you to make educated decisions in your child’s treatment. There are several local organizations that can help steer you in the right direction, such as The Elija Foundation in Levittown (www.elija.org), the Nassau Suffolk Chapter of the Autism Society of America (www.nsasa.org/) in Melville.

Attend conferences and fairs on Autism. This is a great way to network with other parents and become educated on treatments and therapies that are currently being practiced or explored. Annual events are offered all over the world, throughout the state or right here on Long Island, such as the one offered by NAALI, the Long Island chapter of the National Autism Association (www.autismfair.com).

Consider alternative treatment. Aside from the standard services offered by the county or school district, there are several alternative treatments for children with Autism. Talk with your child’s pediatrician, chiropractor or therapist discuss if an alternative treatment may enhance your child’s progress.

Seek support. Whether it is from a support group for parents who have children with Autism or a trusted friend or family member, seek the support you need to help you help your child. Be clear in your needs: reliable childcare so that you and your partner can regroup; an ear for you to vent your concerns; or for frequent family gatherings at your parents’ house to be switched to your own, because it may make life that much easier for you. A good friend or close family member will usually want to help in any which way they can. Take advantage.

Find some time to regroup. Having a child with Autism who receives numerous services is like having a whole other job. And like any job, you need a break. It doesn’t have to be a long one but you need to find the time to breathe – alone. Take a walk, a brief stroll through a favorite store, or even five minutes per day to read a book or magazine that has nothing to do with Autism. Also, use this time to put your life into perspective, to gain strength and move forward.

Have faith in yourself. Even with a bunch of much-needed therapists in your child’s life, you remain an optimum force in his life … you are still his teacher. Have confidence in yourself and your ability to learn how to revamp your parenting to best fit your child’s needs You can do it.

Have faith in your child. Do not lower your expectations because of a diagnosis. Change them. There’s a difference. Maybe your child will need more time to learn how to eat with a fork or to speak clearly so that he can be understood by his peers. Maybe he will need to learn an alternate means of communication – like sign language. Maybe it is difficult for him to look you in the eyes when you are talking to him now, and then again, maybe one day it won’t be. You just don’t know. Don’t sell your child short because he has Autism. Let him feel your love and faith in him as he learns to navigate through his world into yours.

Appreciate your child for his unique qualities and strengths. All children are amazing beings with unique characteristics and traits that should be treasured - that need to be treasured. While you continue to work with your child and his therapists through his challenges, don’t neglect to take note of his strengths and skills. Praise him frequently and with enthusiasm. Don’t take pointing a finger at the ball in the book for granted; nor, a smile that lights up a room … they’re both huge.